About Ukeee_X : I'm Emma and stuff.
I have very particular views on a few matters, yet open minded on the whole.
I'm not great at biographies, but I can say I've been to Download for three years on the trot, and I plan on going to Vietnam soon.
I'm also part of a subculture that's recently hit the limelight by a terribly written book that was based off of a Twilight fan fiction. It isn't an accurate portrayal of this lifestyle either.
Yes my photo was taken in the bath. Don't ask why. It's an inside joke between friends, and I ended up liking this one.
Always up for an interesting chat. :)
About Ukeee_X : I'm Emma and stuff.
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Ukeee_X's favorite FMLs
by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by wtf mom / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Love
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Amber / 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
by fuck you retail / 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
by mmmretail / 05/25/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
by unwilling redneck / 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
by knowtoomuch / 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…