About Ukeee_X : I'm Emma and stuff.
I have very particular views on a few matters, yet open minded on the whole.
I'm not great at biographies, but I can say I've been to Download for three years on the trot, and I plan on going to Vietnam soon.
I'm also part of a subculture that's recently hit the limelight by a terribly written book that was based off of a Twilight fan fiction. It isn't an accurate portrayal of this lifestyle either.
Yes my photo was taken in the bath. Don't ask why. It's an inside joke between friends, and I ended up liking this one.
Always up for an interesting chat. :)
About Ukeee_X : I'm Emma and stuff.
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Ukeee_X's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML
by anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
by augiedd / 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML
by Drizztreri / 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML
by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by dontgothere / 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Sodapop40 / 02/22/2014 at 4:21pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health
by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML
by time to lawyer up / 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/20/2014 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous
Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML
by kdubz23 / 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML
- Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush… Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on… Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my…