About UNLUCKYyY1037 : Just trying to make my life seem better by reading about other people's crappy life's!
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UNLUCKYyY1037's favorite FMLs
by bertiebeth / 08/02/2014 at 1:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML
by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML
by brokeandalone / 07/30/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Money
by JustSomeGuy / 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals
Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML
by Opheliae / 07/29/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love
by Beestings / 03/24/2013 at 1:14am / United States / Love
Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML
by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace / 01/31/2013 at 6:34am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML
by dumbassgrad / 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…