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TylerOMFG

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TylerOMFG
  • Town/Country : Idk, Tbh
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2963
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About TylerOMFG : I love girls :)
I love paintball
I love making people laugh

TylerOMFG's last visitors

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TylerOMFG's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28491) - you deserved it (2972)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

#20399775
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32458) - you deserved it (8103)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (9915)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

#20178502
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10615) - you deserved it (21306)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6912) - you deserved it (31028)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11400) - you deserved it (28935)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31050) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (2774)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (4928)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (1539)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (2180)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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