TylerBurden

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TylerBurden

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2194
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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TylerBurden's page activity

Visits<b>mitch2161998</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 7:46pm<b>amer9298</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:14am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:22pm<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 2:13am<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Grimmerie</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:26am<b>Starksrule</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:53am<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 5:49am<b>valxx92</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 2:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:20am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:54am<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:18am<b>Qindee</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:19am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:15pm<b>gwyneth_jade</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:11am<b>Cherryheart</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:46am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:57am<b>tori3700</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 7:21pm

Fucked!<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 8:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:21pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:34pm

TylerBurden's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of TylerBurden's badges

TylerBurden's favorite FMLs

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

by shadysheikh / 10/29/2014 at 12:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

by YouAssholes / 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

by SlapAndTickle / 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

by Laurel / 05/25/2013 at 12:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

by thatonesilentkidinclass / 05/04/2013 at 4:11am / Philippines (Batangas) / Health

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

by seekerglow176 / 04/27/2013 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

by Soundofaboner / 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

by shatMyself / 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm / United States / Health

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous