TurtleSmile

Search for a member

TurtleSmile

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2033
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About TurtleSmile : I'm a Christian, big fan of God and what He's done for me. I also like basketball, football, singing, poetry, shopping, and staying out talking. Have a wonderful day. I hope you find what you're looking for.

TurtleSmile's page activity

Visits<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:29am<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 8:09pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:48am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 5:43am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 9:55pm<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:10am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 3:30pm<b>izziebear</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:26pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:35pm<b>sheepcart89</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:40pm<b>zak111</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:57am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:11am<b>ArTic_CRIMSoN</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:27am<b>konan__</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:12am<b>sandradeex54</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:37am<b>isabelc</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:52pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:08pm

Fucked!<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 2:09am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:28am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:08pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:05am<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:45am<b>Thatdesichick1</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:43pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:25pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:51am

TurtleSmile's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of TurtleSmile's badges

TurtleSmile's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

by pinkblankets / 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous