TorturedXeno

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Offline (the 06/23/2015 at 9:27pm)

TorturedXeno

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12929
  • Number of comments : 364
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About TorturedXeno : You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.

TorturedXeno's page activity

Visits<b>steelmoonlight</b> - 11 hours ago<b>wobbly1</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 6:22am<b>Vnqsh</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:26am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:35pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:38pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:22am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 11:44pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:31am<b>WingWalker</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:05pm<b>chrissy0</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 8:55am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:40am<b>shinymaster3000</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:29am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:40am<b>mswhatever</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:12pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:44pm<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:59am<b>XXX_Ehunt_XXX</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:35am

Fucked!<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 3:53am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:13am<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:04am

TorturedXeno's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TorturedXeno's badges

TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

by justin / 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

by hi Mum / 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

by vin_dex / 12/05/2013 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

by fuck my eyeballs / 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / 11/27/2013 at 2:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

by Thanks guys / 11/26/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML

by bsulyingb / 11/24/2013 at 2:59pm / United States / Love