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Tking19's FML badges
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Tking19's favorite FMLs
Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 6:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by BDSM4Jesus / 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 9:34am / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 8:35am / Australia / Love
by Halcyon_Sancta / 01/19/2015 at 8:05am / United States (Nevada) / Love
by anon / 01/19/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by -.- / 01/18/2015 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- Today, I asked a guy for directions. He said "well you can either go the short way or the long way,… Today, I finally got some action, by which I mean I had to turn myself on to remove a lump of old… Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and when I was just about to climax, he stopped then told…