Timmeeh

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Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 1:17am)

Timmeeh

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 August 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1626
  • Number of comments : 158
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Timmeeh : Computational physicist and computer scientist.

Timmeeh's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 9:47am<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:08am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:08pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:06pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:17pm<b>alaska21</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:35am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:58pm<b>vampirefairy_07</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 11:00pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 1:05pm<b>qwerty123456789o</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 12:30am<b>PiNkMoOn</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:09am<b>pumboc</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:08am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 3:12pm<b>klovemachine</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 1:28pm<b>missathegirlwond</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 2:06pm<b>sharks408</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 2:16am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 10:00pm<b>pennies_lane</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 9:05am

Timmeeh's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

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Timmeeh's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

by FMBs / 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

by Wow / 03/13/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

by inpain / 12/02/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

by poorchild / 11/23/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

by jocksblow / 11/14/2011 at 8:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

by Sack / 11/10/2011 at 6:16am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

by Flarewolf / 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids