Tikal

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Tikal

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16603
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tikal : I'm a guy who likes to do fun things, listen to good music and eat tasty food.
Drop me a line or two, it's always fun to meet new people.

Tikal's page activity

Visits<b>Alfo</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 8:01pm<b>brownapple</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 1:43pm<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 6:21pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:22am<b>chocolateberries</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 8:24pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:00am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 11:38am<b>mmlpfakeoutV2</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:28pm<b>isabelc</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Otherhats</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:47pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 1:05am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:06pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:19am<b>helllno</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:04am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:06pm<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:27pm<b>whyisitincapital</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 7:12am

Fucked!<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:00am

Tikal's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tikal's favorite FMLs

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

by RckRagman / 04/30/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

by Anonymousagb / 04/24/2009 at 11:18am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

by notexactly / 04/23/2009 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

by happybirthday / 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

by dummy441 / 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

by whymommywhy / 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

by indi1011 / 04/20/2009 at 8:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

by guessimdead / 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

by Crunchy / 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

by scarletdurose88 / 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

by Daniel_rules / 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation