About Tika876 : Outgoing island girl and music lover. If you can make me laugh, we can be friends. Feel free to message me, but be warned...I bite.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Tika876's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm / Germany / Love
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by naps aren't what they used to be / 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm / United States / Work
by whathehell / 04/27/2013 at 4:28am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 11:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
by fiercehawk / 04/24/2013 at 2:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML
by Stupid / 04/22/2013 at 2:58am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML
by Ellwood / 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to… Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my… Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years…
- Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…