About Tiger9099 : Is what your reaction is like when someone is talking to your crush.
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Tiger9099's favorite FMLs
by soreloser / 05/20/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
by pregnant loser apparently / 05/20/2013 at 12:31am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
by mackmackey / 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/14/2013 at 7:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
by magomag / 05/14/2013 at 12:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love
by wat_dafuq_bro / 05/06/2013 at 2:06am / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
by thatonesilentkidinclass / 05/04/2013 at 4:11am / Philippines (Batangas) / Health
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
by Wow. Really? / 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by unforgettablee / 04/29/2013 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…