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ThomasBombadil's favorite FMLs
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
by Kerlane / 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm / Transportation
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
by noname / 12/04/2008 at 12:55am / Intimacy
by Noname / 12/03/2008 at 11:39pm / Kids
by hell! / 12/02/2008 at 3:27am / Intimacy
Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML
by eleonor / 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm / Love
by Maestro / 12/01/2008 at 1:09am / Intimacy
Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML
by Groom / 11/30/2008 at 5:51am / Miscellaneous
by Rosies / 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm / Intimacy
Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML
by Buzz / 11/29/2008 at 11:11am / Work
Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML
by ... / 11/29/2008 at 6:50am / Intimacy
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
by Sam / 11/28/2008 at 3:50am / Intimacy
Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML
by ehbe / 11/27/2008 at 3:52am / Intimacy
by ripo95 / 11/26/2008 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous
by mael / 11/25/2008 at 3:54am / Intimacy
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
by TomPom / 11/25/2008 at 1:54am / Intimacy