The_Nuke

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The_Nuke

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1685
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About The_Nuke : this website always makes me feel better after a long day

The_Nuke's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 2:49pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:42am<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 11:52pm<b>isabelf</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:58am<b>vairyhagina</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:46pm<b>trell000</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:15am<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:25am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:18am<b>nancy_ydg17</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 10:54pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 9:54pm<b>bobwaffals</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 6:46am<b>Zombiekilla3229</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:53am<b>darrenjoe</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 12:03pm<b>hadeschaos</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:40am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 12:04pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 1:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:05pm<b>theworldisflat</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 1:33pm

The_Nuke's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of The_Nuke's badges

The_Nuke's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

by Birthday Surprise / 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

by jhughes1997 / 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

by fuckedbyahipster / 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

by sammarli530 / 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

by look at the fucking universe, lady / 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Geek

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

by imscrewed / 04/11/2013 at 3:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

by The_Black_Jesus / 03/31/2013 at 9:32am / United States / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

by FUCKKKS / 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy