Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ThePieGuy0817

Search for a member

ThePieGuy0817
  • Town/Country : Rhode Island, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 916
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About ThePieGuy0817 : I'm an artist; my profile picture is a photo of a painting I did myself. I am also an as-of-yet unpublished author working on a book called Ascendancy.

ThePieGuy0817's last visitors

AngelOf_DarknessRizzenduchi425katertottmandafagerPresAgentGreenmarshDruugloooooria

ThePieGuy0817's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of ThePieGuy0817's badges

ThePieGuy0817's favorite FMLs

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (5417)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

#19984969
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (2100)

On 07/26/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15869) - you deserved it (1219)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (3397)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (3397)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (4962)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

#19699245
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18039) - you deserved it (1461)

On 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (5627)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (2544)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14862) - you deserved it (8739)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

#19367140
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (1572)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm - misc - by neverthesame - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: