About ThePieGuy0817 : I'm an artist; my profile picture is a photo of a painting I did myself. I am also an as-of-yet unpublished author working on a book called Ascendancy.
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ThePieGuy0817's favorite FMLs
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous
by veggieluver / 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love
by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
by hclagopus / 11/14/2012 at 6:39am / Norway / Geek
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 6:42am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly… Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls,… Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't…