Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ThePaperDragon

Online | Search for a member

ThePaperDragon

420Fucked!

ThePaperDragonThePaperDragon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7742
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About ThePaperDragon : Hmm, my name is Aspasia, I may be addicted to Minecraft. I enjoy playing sports as well as poetry. I'm trilingual and in the process of learning a fourth language. I love running, traveling, and exploring the forest near my house. Meeting new people is always fun in my book! Thus, If you would like to know anything else, or would like to chat, simply send a message my way!

ThePaperDragon's page activity

Visits<b>srinathmatti</b> - 17 minutes ago<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - 2 hours ago<b>jqmalang</b> - 3 hours ago<b>killer0689</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Twill3422</b> - 4 hours ago<b>crisanba</b> - 4 hours ago<b>steeler088</b> - 4 hours ago<b>pks2014</b> - 5 hours ago<b>lukian</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Bgreen94</b> - 8 hours ago<b>AyeTee77</b> - 8 hours ago<b>jth1623</b> - 11 hours ago<b>MasterBob</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Helipilot86</b> - 13 hours ago<b>thisguy22</b> - 14 hours ago<b>ncbeach22</b> - 15 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 15 hours ago<b>gary8082</b> - 15 hours ago

Fucked!<b>Bgreen94</b> - 5 hours ago<b>ncbeach22</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Firefighter427</b> - 9 hours ago<b>silky_mitts</b> - 10 hours ago<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Coachjoost79</b> - 11 hours ago<b>americanafrican</b> - yesterday at 8:21pm<b>thalheimer15</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:30pm<b>aloneingarden</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:14pm<b>Sleepwalking713</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:07am<b>purplepurplelove</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:01pm<b>KittehGrey</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 10:06am<b>goldcock19</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:45am<b>Shuff52</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:56pm<b>CyberSeeker</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 2:23pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:20pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:36pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:05pm

ThePaperDragon's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of ThePaperDragon's badges

ThePaperDragon's favorite FMLs

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (1197)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20891) - you deserved it (2052)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

#21459180
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (2720)

On 08/22/2015 at 3:30am - animals - by yooitscallo (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (2319)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

#21455368
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (4705)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was still easier for me to get an engineering PhD than it is to get a girlfriend. FML

#21452435
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/05/2015 at 9:22pm - love - by still single (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML

#21451268
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (10143)

On 08/03/2015 at 10:14am - love - by Cygnus - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

#21450491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (2993)

On 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm - animals - by Wow (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13127) - you deserved it (24360)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (2757)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32560) - you deserved it (4583)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML

#21441952
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (2743)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Teste (man) - Spain

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27744) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: