Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheLadyOpal

Online | Search for a member

TheLadyOpal

16Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13472
  • Number of comments : 319
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 62 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TheLadyOpal's page activity

Visits<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:00pm<b>MM100</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 8:37am<b>Mons</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:17am<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:47pm<b>BWARD51</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 4:33pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:01pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:49pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 9:45pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:26pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 12:43am<b>melbournearsenal</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 11:19pm<b>ChrisIsAnon</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 7:09pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 6:27pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:06pm<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 4:06pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:58pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:40pm

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 3:45am<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:42am<b>ChrisIsAnon</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:09am<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:10am<b>airassault</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:52pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 9:13pm<b>KazutoKirigia</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 9:59am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:52pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Blippety</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:14am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:33am<b>mill2775</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:14am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:40am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:51am

TheLadyOpal's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of TheLadyOpal's badges

TheLadyOpal's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (39673)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (3494)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (42444)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34783) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29066) - you deserved it (4987)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (2138)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44128) - you deserved it (14630)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (5443)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11863) - you deserved it (37792)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (4344)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37529) - you deserved it (2898)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36416) - you deserved it (4055)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38169) - you deserved it (4154)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: