TheLadyOpal

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TheLadyOpal

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18276
  • Number of comments : 357
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 65 posted

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TheLadyOpal's page activity

Visits<b>brian1976</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 12:42pm<b>QualityChrisTime</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 9:27pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 8:55pm<b>Mons</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 12:23pm<b>stereomommy</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 4:28pm<b>t</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 8:17am<b>iYodah</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 7:29am<b>Willman757</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 9:43pm<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 11:22am<b>ChuckHolmes</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 3:43pm<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 11:45am<b>41k312</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:19am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 4:01pm<b>sullivankeara</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 4:47pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:35am<b>saxyguy</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 7:23am<b>H4S_3229</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 1:33am<b>AlexArtorias</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 12:11am

Fucked!<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 6:43am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 3:45am<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:42am<b>ChrisIsAnon</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:09am<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:10am<b>airassault</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:52pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 9:13pm<b>KazutoKirigia</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 9:59am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:52pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Blippety</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:14am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:33am<b>mill2775</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:14am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:40am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:51am

TheLadyOpal's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of TheLadyOpal's badges

TheLadyOpal's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2013 at 6:29am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

by melyeah / 03/02/2013 at 9:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

by cthulhu help me / 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

by thepokemonkid / 02/27/2013 at 12:03am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

by lolo / 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

by blob / 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm / Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

by must be adopted / 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous