Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheLadyOpal

Online | Search for a member

TheLadyOpal

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9538
  • Number of comments : 240
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 50 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TheLadyOpal's page activity

Visits<b>sprigs_</b> - 17 hours ago<b>scottishryan</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:39pm<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:45am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:25pm<b>killerpotato21</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:14am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:32am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:56am<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:25pm<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:41am<b>kylieh72</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:14am<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Scottisenses</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:56pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:29pm<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:31am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:12am

Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:14am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:33am<b>mill2775</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:14am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:40am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:51am

TheLadyOpal's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of TheLadyOpal's badges

TheLadyOpal's favorite FMLs

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (4077)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

#20501281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27096) - you deserved it (2567)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31109) - you deserved it (16406)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (4813)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11910) - you deserved it (30028)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (2620)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (35859)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39912) - you deserved it (9223)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31769) - you deserved it (20470)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36612) - you deserved it (2551)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47902) - you deserved it (3574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28571) - you deserved it (1941)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (3666)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: