Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheLadyOpal

Online | Search for a member

TheLadyOpal

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11929
  • Number of comments : 269
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 56 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TheLadyOpal's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:39am<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>Killer_Spoon</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:10pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:25am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:15pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:39am<b>gigistar15</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:55pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:51am<b>ElMarsho</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:27pm<b>Mudhound123</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:24pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:10pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:22am<b>SmileEveryone</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Alwaysalone19</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 8:15am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 4:14pm<b>AsharKhan</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:54pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:03am<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:23am

Fucked!<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Blippety</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:14am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:33am<b>mill2775</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:14am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:40am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:51am

TheLadyOpal's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of TheLadyOpal's badges

TheLadyOpal's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41270) - you deserved it (3064)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (11880)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37673) - you deserved it (3284)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57363) - you deserved it (6494)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (6228)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45702) - you deserved it (3636)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

#20818742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (4048)

On 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56925) - you deserved it (8960)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45889) - you deserved it (14967)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45889) - you deserved it (14967)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (45686)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61189) - you deserved it (3813)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (66889)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49483) - you deserved it (4673)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: