About TheGnudist : I have existed, I currently exist, and I will most likely exist for quite a while longer, after which point I shall promptly be hidden away six feet under so that the stench does not disturb those who will still be existing at the aforementioned point. Such is life.
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TheGnudist's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML
by nowork / 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML
by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous
by outthelabyrynth / 08/27/2013 at 10:46am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Animals
by Poly24 / 08/27/2013 at 6:32am / Kids
Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML
by Suunflower_14 / 08/26/2013 at 5:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
by etgohome / 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
by jameen / 08/25/2013 at 8:50am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML
by cpmolly / 08/24/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by cassidy_smith12 / 08/24/2013 at 10:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
by Demotivation / 08/23/2013 at 10:12am / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML
by themarrowguy / 08/23/2013 at 6:06am / United States / Health
Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML
by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work
Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML
by Kingofbosses / 08/22/2013 at 1:31am / United States / Work
by Embarrassed / 08/22/2013 at 12:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
- Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his… Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with… Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like…