About TheFamilyElf : Hello, curious person. I'm not here to get into serious discussions/arguments about life, religion, or morals. I'm here to laugh at other people's misery and at those who choose to spend their time arguing on FML. Does that make me a bad person? Hmm.... Oh well.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
TheFamilyElf's favorite FMLs
by jenA / 08/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
by Jessica / 08/21/2012 at 4:21am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals
Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML
by unlicensed / 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML
by butterball / 07/18/2012 at 10:41am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Work
by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
by notanidiot / 06/20/2012 at 8:46am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work
by facepalm / 06/06/2012 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love
by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
- Today, I helped my boyfriend of two years go through his divorce, find a house, and set up all his… Today, I was trying to be sexy for my boyfriend, but I slipped and bashed my face on the bad. Now I… Today, I found out that the manager of my old job, that I absolutely hated and told I quit with a 2…