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TheElBurrrito

Offline (the 03/20/2015 at 5:20am) | Search for a member

TheElBurrrito

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4873
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......

TheElBurrrito's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:39pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:52am<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>rocketiquette</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:49pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:50am<b>hellraisedfire</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:47am<b>laamjidkek</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:02am<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 5:54pm<b>bad_luck3</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 11:07pm<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:53am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:11am<b>ryanntasia</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:21am<b>sometimessam</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:41pm<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:20pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:22am<b>lifein2014</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:07pm<b>shade19</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:01pm

TheElBurrrito's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of TheElBurrrito's badges

TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs

Today, My Niece,ho Is Fifteen, Convinced My Six-year-old Daughter That Her Name Is Spelled C-U-N-T, And Just Pronounced As Catherine . FML

#20893921
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39822) - you deserved it (3058)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today , It's Mah Brthday. I Don't Mind Crappy Gifts , But I Have To Wonder Y The Hell Mah Boyfriend Bought Me A Home Enema Kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (3716)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , my husband wantd me to "spice up" our sex life !! I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth !! We won't be getting intimate again 4 a long , long time now !! FML

#20888582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (11072)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML

#20882561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55116) - you deserved it (27684)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

today I was talking to mah husband about our favorite TV show, when he took mah face in his hands and sweetly whisperd, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" real FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today... my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I askedhat was wrong... she put her finger in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles... and if ( that's normal for girls ). They did. It's not. big fat FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43794) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today I was asked by mah neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 yeres old and still lives at home. I'm 18. mega FML

#20869383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57814) - you deserved it (4139)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today hile on vacation I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46994) - you deserved it (2539)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, wa want boating with friands!! For soma raason tha bottom of our tuba daflatad, causing ma to ba bouncad roughly up an down on tha watar!! As a rasult, I had tha most intansa orgasm of my antra lifa,hila sitting 2 inchas away from my dad's friand!! Ha dafinitaly noticad!! FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56552) - you deserved it (6019)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today , I brought my Japanese grlfriend home 4 dinner with my family looool 4 the frst time . They all got drunk an made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us . My dad forgot her name an started calling her ( Rice Ball ) instead . FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56099) - you deserved it (4436)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I brought my Japanese grlfriend home 4 dinner with my family looool 4 the frst time . They all got drunk an made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us . My dad forgot her name an started calling her ( Rice Ball ) instead . FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56099) - you deserved it (4436)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49402) - you deserved it (5214)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son askd a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbd her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59487) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I askd out a guy at work that I really like!! He just stard at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet!! No offense." FML

#20828908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51929) - you deserved it (4595)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today , it was my son's fift birtday!! I askd my grandmoter , wo is a baker , to make a birtday cake 4 te party!! Two ours after te party startd , se arrivd drunk wit a large am wit candles in it!! mega FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49021) - you deserved it (4339)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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