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TheElBurrrito

Offline (the 06/14/2015 at 9:34am) | Search for a member

TheElBurrrito

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5553
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheElBurrrito : The picture says it all. Boobs (a.k.a. succulent dairy holders for babies and grown men) and video games. Xbox to be more exact. I don't see any other reason for living........ Calm down, I'm actually not a shallow person. My sense of humor is a little bit on the inappropriate side, so don't take offense to any jokes I make. I'm not good at this whole "about me" thing, and I honestly think this is maybe the third time I've ever done this. Dallas Mavericks, video games and Batman is all you need to get my attention. If this peeks your interest or just want to talk, feel free to message away. I'm not really sure how to end these things, so I'll just say......

TheElBurrrito's page activity

Visits<b>raesos91</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:55am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 3:01am<b>Advising</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:55am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:32am<b>qjdb</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 8:17am<b>sethr_di</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:33am<b>racello13</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:10pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Logicscmogic</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:54pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Ice_Cold_Llama</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:39pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:52am<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>rocketiquette</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:49pm<b>hellraisedfire</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:47am

Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:26am<b>quinzxl</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:37pm

TheElBurrrito's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of TheElBurrrito's badges

TheElBurrrito's favorite FMLs

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (3228)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (3240)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (3193)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (40151)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44166) - you deserved it (6278)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55173) - you deserved it (22939)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43712) - you deserved it (4111)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (6157)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48793) - you deserved it (4568)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42726) - you deserved it (4386)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41810) - you deserved it (4032)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (7298)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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