TheCrispyCat

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Offline (the 07/01/2015 at 7:53pm)

TheCrispyCat

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3391
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About TheCrispyCat : What ya doin Spiceman?!?

TheCrispyCat's page activity

Visits<b>JustATeenageMess</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:36pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 5:09am<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 5:50am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:59am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:52pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:36pm<b>jb590</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:39am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:28pm<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:25am<b>Vita_1</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 9:12am<b>candy_mang</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:44pm<b>jerrz</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 7:11pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 7:38am<b>oathkeeper99</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:13am<b>lizardFace</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:41am<b>NotDarkKnight</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:42pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:36pm

Fucked!<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:53pm

TheCrispyCat's FML badges

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TheCrispyCat's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

by nocat6 / 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

by ElementaryEdGuy / 09/11/2014 at 11:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

by MusicLover18 / 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

by nayahbear24 / 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Holidays

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

by leem / 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Transportation

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 7:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health