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TheCamoWulf's favorite FMLs
by loserllamalick / 10/07/2013 at 10:32am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML
by bitch / 10/07/2013 at 3:37am / Australia / Work
by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy
by TeddyBearKiller / 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
by wasted_gas / 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML
by CelibateHero / 10/05/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML
by WTF? / 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML
by wellcrap / 10/03/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML
by NykP / 10/02/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I…