TheAbstract

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TheAbstract

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2255
  • Number of comments : 233
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheAbstract : Just another FML-er here to enjoy the misery of others. :D

TheAbstract's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:53pm<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:28am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:32am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Retaheki</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 3:27pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:17am<b>___Abbey___</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:15pm<b>JellyJace</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:10pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:46am<b>noahshane</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:58pm<b>EdenCrystal</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:23pm<b>tgold49</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:26pm<b>TastyRissoll</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:26pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Khorlik</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Jameson5011</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Horrible_Jack</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:08pm<b>guelito97</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:08pm

Fucked!<b>dcisecurite</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:37am

TheAbstract's FML badges

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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TheAbstract's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

by Myballshurt / 08/03/2013 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

by ... cheers / 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Love

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

by Jer / 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Money

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

by thatkid00117 / 07/15/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids