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TheAbstract

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TheAbstract

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1555
  • Number of comments : 233
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheAbstract : Just another FML-er here to enjoy the misery of others. :D

TheAbstract's page activity

Visits<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:08am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Retaheki</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 3:27pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:17am<b>___Abbey___</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:15pm<b>JellyJace</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:10pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:46am<b>noahshane</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:58pm<b>EdenCrystal</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:23pm<b>tgold49</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:26pm<b>TastyRissoll</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:26pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Khorlik</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Jameson5011</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Horrible_Jack</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:08pm<b>guelito97</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:08pm<b>cwenboo</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:53pm

Fucked!<b>dcisecurite</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:37am

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TheAbstract's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (20877)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51965) - you deserved it (11229)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53729) - you deserved it (8531)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (5484)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54873) - you deserved it (9331)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46059) - you deserved it (9009)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22321) - you deserved it (43704)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50754) - you deserved it (8398)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52206) - you deserved it (4302)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48366) - you deserved it (7057)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64942) - you deserved it (11421)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51230) - you deserved it (4879)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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