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ThatOneGuy719's favorite FMLs
by CorCelesti / 06/02/2014 at 10:00am / United States / Love
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
by lahiros / 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML
by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…