Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tezoma

Offline (58 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Tezoma

19Fucked!

TezomaTezoma
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 March 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9086
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tezoma : I am a nineteen year old responsible adult. I enjoy standing front row at concerts, moshing, video games, anime, British TV, Korean romantic comedies (my guilty pleasure), homestuck, MLP, WTNV, The Monstrumologist, and, occasionally, the slots.
I'm a lover of poetry and art and I am a pro doodler.

I do and say childish things sometimes, and I am very sorry for that. But I am a child. I have no self control, and there seems to be no helping it.

Messages are nice.

Tezoma's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - 3 hours ago<b>mexeuphemism</b> - 22 hours ago<b>nana_star</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:30pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:11am<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:02pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:05pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:56pm<b>momac86</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:35am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:24pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:07pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:14pm<b>BountyBass</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 9:27pm<b>kitkatmiaow</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 4:43pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:38am<b>timjames82</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:22am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:55am<b>unscrupulous</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 2:56am

Fucked!<b>nana_star</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:31am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:24am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:09am<b>tylermt1999</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 2:51am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:48am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:32am<b>geon_olam</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:34pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 6:27am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:10pm<b>Morticia_Addams</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:22am<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 3:45am<b>ashleyyeah</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:33am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 7:01pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:35pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:24pm

Tezoma's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Tezoma's badges

Tezoma's favorite FMLs

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

#21434878
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14939) - you deserved it (935)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML

#21432771
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (2975)

On 06/27/2015 at 11:01am - misc - by anonynous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (1878)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (2085)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you deserved it (2534)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

#21432440
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (1489)

On 06/26/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

#21430623
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (1903)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:57am - misc - by cAPITOLpORN - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28792) - you deserved it (1258)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (1648)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while I was in the bathroom at a restaurant, my young son decided to drink the "slushie" I had ordered. We ended up at the hospital because that slushie was actually a margarita. FML

#21428647
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (6931)

On 06/19/2015 at 4:09pm - kids - by Kidisok - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

#21428456
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/19/2015 at 4:37am - misc - by THANKS - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (3682)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (11484)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: