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Teyros's FML badges
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Teyros's favorite FMLs
by DeepFriedLettuce / 04/28/2016 at 9:33pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML
by mallycat14 / 06/25/2015 at 12:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by TooLoud / 05/30/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Vexatious / 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML
by anonymous / 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML
by Mary C. / 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
by katelynm / 02/08/2013 at 1:24am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…