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Offline (the 12/31/2015 at 6:45pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2089
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Tessa_11 : Hey, I'm Tessa(: I don't really know what to write but I'd love to talk. I try to be really nice to who ever talks to me, I'll always answer if you message me and I'm here if you need me(:
I love music, shooting, being outside, drawing, playing piano, talking to people and so much more. Feel free to message me(:

Tessa_11's page activity

Visits<b>Ed1998</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 10:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 4:28pm<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 9:56am<b>ChromeVIP</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 8:45am<b>Rynardhell</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 5:36pm<b>hare</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 6:23am<b>ThatGuyBrennen1</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 11:00am<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:39am<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:13am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 6:45pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 11:01pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:48am<b>just_zach</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 8:11pm<b>jessecn</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 6:28pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:20am<b>YaGirlAuntJemima</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:02pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 4:36am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 8:51am

Fucked!<b>Nahpets</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:51pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:28am<b>refticon</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Jillyan_42</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 4:45am<b>hmiller2337</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 1:51am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 11:20am<b>18drakerad</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 3:42pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:14am<b>schreibergx93</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:09pm<b>Larry01</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:36pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:57am<b>vegemute</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:41am<b>IndieCowboy</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:20am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:15am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Ed1998</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:38pm<b>jesseanderson</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:31pm

Tessa_11's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

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Tessa_11's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

by butterbody / 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

by awkwardpartybear / 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

by fuck me / 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

by xHoho / 11/26/2013 at 12:50am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

by :/ / 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love