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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15750
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Tess : nerd, gamer, future filmmaker.

Tess's page activity

Visits<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 3:26pm<b>Incroyalzz</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:45pm<b>bushdidthealamo</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:41am<b>PlsNarwals</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:17am<b>shavednipples</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:15am<b>gratunka</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 9:33pm<b>lolszilla</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:58pm<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:42pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Bgrish</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:26am<b>william16</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 5:41pm<b>julako</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:20pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:06pm<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 4:07am<b>abattior</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 4:05am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:11am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:09pm

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Tess's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

by SpongeAbii2 / 01/24/2012 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

by LonerCow / 01/20/2012 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 3:26am / Libyan Arab Jamahiriya / Intimacy

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

by Dockin / 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm / India / Intimacy

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML

by charlotte9338 / 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy