About Tess : nerd, gamer, future filmmaker.
Tess's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Tess's favorite FMLs
by SpongeAbii2 / 01/24/2012 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
by LonerCow / 01/20/2012 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 3:26am / Libyan Arab Jamahiriya / Intimacy
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Dockin / 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm / India / Intimacy
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love
Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
by charlotte9338 / 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy