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Termites's favorite FMLs
by DisgustinglyFrustrated / 10/10/2013 at 11:40am / Argentina (Santa Fe) / Intimacy
by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy
by ughreally / 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML
by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML
by Anonycunt / 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML
by juliearis / 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 7:26am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck… Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over… Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said…