Teffie

Search for a member

Teffie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 July 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11301
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Teffie : My life is a sitcom.

Teffie's page activity

Visits<b>XxDASHxX</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 8:56pm<b>kaitlyn98</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:46pm<b>catchmypanties</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:24am<b>BananaN0se</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:34am<b>RandomPrius</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:11am<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:33pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 8:05pm<b>TigerTattoo</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 10:23pm<b>huzy_8</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 6:43pm<b>ladeeda</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 9:28pm<b>Meena</b> - the 03/21/2009 at 5:53pm<b>Cheru</b> - the 03/19/2009 at 9:49pm<b>RealFML</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 7:27pm<b>dnb23</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 5:05pm<b>kkmmll</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 4:57pm

Teffie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Teffie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

by CaoNiMa / 03/26/2009 at 11:42am / China (Beijing) / Kids

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

by lollipopp56 / 03/26/2009 at 2:09am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

by Lady_Luck / 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

by toast / 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2009 at 12:48am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

by Loho / 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

by sarah_sad / 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

by spandex / 03/24/2009 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

by proudestmonkey / 03/24/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

by The_HML / 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Maryland) / Holidays

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

by birthdayfun / 03/23/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy