TdotMaria

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Offline (the 11/29/2014 at 11:42am)

TdotMaria

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3527
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TdotMaria : So I've been around FML for a while just lurking in the shadows chuckling at others misfortune but don't get me wrong I've had a few FMLs myself... I've been bit by a squirrel and taken to A&E - but I'm not ready to talk about that yet and still have the craving for nuts.

On a side note I'm 22, from London and not a bad person so I wouldn't mind a message every now and then.

TdotMaria's page activity

Visits<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:44am<b>TheisM</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:27am<b>BrettB321</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:02am<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:29am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:50pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:27pm<b>LEDZEPPALLTHEWAY</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:12pm<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:28pm<b>je83185</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:40pm<b>DarkSaul</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:29am<b>JKROB</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:38am<b>Nate66</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:27am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:37pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:52pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:27am<b>MJD14</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:55am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:45am

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:27pm<b>monsterman11</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:13pm<b>Chewbacon</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:02pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:49pm

TdotMaria's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of TdotMaria's badges

TdotMaria's favorite FMLs

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

by unashamed / 06/05/2014 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

by damn it rose / 05/31/2014 at 9:40am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

by chevygirl51 / 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

by goodgrief / 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health