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TaylorTotsYumm

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TaylorTotsYumm

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15633
  • Number of comments : 1133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About TaylorTotsYumm : Things I love:
•Seattle
•soccer
•popsicles
•indie rock, classic rock, grunge, alt., jazz, blues
•Amy Winehouse
•Harry Potter
•oceans
•Febreze
•Anne Hathaway
•Liverpool fc
•'90s cartoons
•All That
•singing
•Grey's Anatomy
•environmental consciousness
•dykes

Things I hate:
•Man. U
•autotune
•wbc

-If you have any questions for me, or just want to talk, shoot me a message. I'll answer next time I use the website rather than the app.

TaylorTotsYumm's page activity

Visits<b>phoneaddict13</b> - 3 hours ago<b>BonerFart</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 6:36pm<b>Dontbeacat</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:13pm<b>LiveDreamsG</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:27pm<b>MoxieJones</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:24pm<b>draftskink</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 7:23pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:29pm<b>mondesno</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 2:37am<b>Zerpellica</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 2:41pm<b>krayzie2392</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:46pm<b>pumpkinlamps</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 2:05am<b>SadLittleTurtle</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:21pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:37am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:00pm<b>xyuukinekox</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 12:19am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:33am<b>areid2000</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 5:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:28pm

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:34pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:16am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:09am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:37am

TaylorTotsYumm's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of TaylorTotsYumm's badges

TaylorTotsYumm's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72661) - you deserved it (8101)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53969) - you deserved it (6861)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89640) - you deserved it (15572)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (153393)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31026) - you deserved it (70345)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19251) - you deserved it (101545)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (295322) - you deserved it (19928)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106096) - you deserved it (6224)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161109) - you deserved it (23736)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72335) - you deserved it (21362)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)



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