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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16867
  • Number of comments : 1133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About TaylorTotsYumm : Things I love:
•indie rock, classic rock, grunge, alt., jazz, blues
•Amy Winehouse
•Harry Potter
•Anne Hathaway
•Liverpool fc
•'90s cartoons
•All That
•Grey's Anatomy
•environmental consciousness

Things I hate:
•Man. U

-If you have any questions for me, or just want to talk, shoot me a message. I'll answer next time I use the website rather than the app.

TaylorTotsYumm's page activity

Visits<b>MostynTheWeirdo</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 7:04am<b>roman11</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 6:30am<b>mondesno</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 10:50am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:39am<b>tipperO1</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 4:11pm<b>Arnv</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:35pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Parkourlife20</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:08am<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 4:39pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 11:20am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:02am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:30am<b>sierraskye</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:26am<b>Rgduncan</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 11:03pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:40pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 5:33pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:38pm

Fucked!<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:39am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:30am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:34pm<b>dariusdeath</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:59am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:33pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:34pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:16am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:09am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:37am

TaylorTotsYumm's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of TaylorTotsYumm's badges

TaylorTotsYumm's favorite FMLs

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

by shallowvomit1013 / 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

by colorfulgina / 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML

by makeitstop / 12/02/2009 at 2:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

by NotsexyEnough / 11/22/2009 at 10:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

by thornrose22 / 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

by Ouch / 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Intimacy

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

by Curt / 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy