TaylorTotsYumm

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TaylorTotsYumm

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16471
  • Number of comments : 1133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About TaylorTotsYumm : Things I love:
•Seattle
•soccer
•popsicles
•indie rock, classic rock, grunge, alt., jazz, blues
•Amy Winehouse
•Harry Potter
•oceans
•Febreze
•Anne Hathaway
•Liverpool fc
•'90s cartoons
•All That
•singing
•Grey's Anatomy
•environmental consciousness
•dykes

Things I hate:
•Man. U
•autotune
•wbc

-If you have any questions for me, or just want to talk, shoot me a message. I'll answer next time I use the website rather than the app.

TaylorTotsYumm's page activity

Visits<b>mondesno</b> - yesterday at 10:50am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:39am<b>tipperO1</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 4:11pm<b>Arnv</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:35pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Parkourlife20</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:08am<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 4:39pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 11:20am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:02am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:30am<b>sierraskye</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:26am<b>Rgduncan</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 11:03pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:40pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 5:33pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:38pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 4:13pm<b>dlashayj2</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 3:04pm

Fucked!<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:39am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:30am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:34pm<b>dariusdeath</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:59am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:33pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:34pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:16am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:09am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:37am

TaylorTotsYumm's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of TaylorTotsYumm's badges

TaylorTotsYumm's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

by sosadstudent / 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

by ShakeRattleHiss / 04/20/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

by bham boy / 04/20/2011 at 4:10am / Work

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 3:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Animals

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

by Stupid / 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Work

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

by Jukka / 04/18/2011 at 8:48pm / Animals

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

by Numb / 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

by failure / 04/08/2011 at 1:24am / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

by cantgetup / 04/03/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy