Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 906
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Tattooed_Blonde : My name is Megan-Jade
And I would be a better serial killer than you.
I swear, I get inked and I drink.
I party and get so wasted that I can't see straight.
I wish I was five again, so I would
have a better reason to get barbie naked.
I don't care about how wonderful you are.
Music is my fuck drug.
Grow a brain and say more than just "sup."
I laugh loud and hard... It's pretty fucking annoying.
I love nature and the nature of people,
you never cease to amaze me.

Tattooed_Blonde's page activity

Visits<b>CreepinCow</b> - yesterday at 12:35am<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 5:56am<b>Myorafield</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:10pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:59am<b>Druu</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:24am<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 2:08am<b>Loyalteez</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:57pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:56am<b>msk1155</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:53pm<b>gabbertz</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:01am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 6:29pm<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 4:55pm<b>MoxieJones</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 5:12pm<b>blakeced</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:25am<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:56am<b>General_Cool</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:19pm<b>bps2007</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:14am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 2:26am

Fucked!<b>Druu</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:24am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:29am<b>patte</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:45am<b>bunnyboo7799</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 12:17am<b>jayemerald17</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:54pm<b>sarahmsw20</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:17pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:03pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:11pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:52am<b>Jennandco</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm

Tattooed_Blonde's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tattooed_Blonde's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (3904)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (4944)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13019) - you deserved it (36362)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (117527) - you deserved it (13617)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my dad came out of a hotel bathroom with nothing but a wash-cloth over his crotch and said "look! this place has cotton loin clothes" in front of my wedding party. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29945) - you deserved it (2295)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by indianaxx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38471) - you deserved it (5399)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32395) - you deserved it (2242)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by RAHrahRAH (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (3121)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40669) - you deserved it (3039)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (2959)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46282) - you deserved it (13371)

On 06/29/2009 at 10:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML


I agree, your life sucks (1240316) - you deserved it (137767)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: