About TM24D : I literally hate everyone on FML.
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TM24D's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML
by Anonyname / 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML
by lemongrab / 05/18/2014 at 10:14am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my two year old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
by WolfieJL / 05/18/2014 at 3:51am / United States / Kids
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by 2ndgenoration / 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, a nice couple came in to buy a car. I offered to drive it out from the line of cars for them, since it was a tight squeeze. They then watched as I managed to back it straight into another car, causing a large amount of damage to both. FML
by cargaljen / 05/17/2014 at 5:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML
by spasti-cunt / 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love
by her mom raised her / 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm / Mexico / Kids
by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2014 at 12:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by frustrated / 05/17/2014 at 6:11am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
by Female Struggles / 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
by wtf / 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…