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About TM24D : I literally hate everyone on FML.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stond and passd out in our dog's bd. My dad was drunk, yelling ( who's yur daddy ) at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, ( what the hell happend to my life ) look on her face. FML
2day I went out with my family an boyfriend fir dinner . We were all having a good time , an suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee , take out an engagement ring , an say "I choose you , Pikachu," with a straight face . He was serious . FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically sereching fir my cell phone. He was curious as to wat I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followd by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey your on yur phone talking to me." FML
Today , I was pulld over for speeding . The cop was hot so I flirtd with him as much as I could . But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket . Feeling desperate I said , "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls." His response: "We don't." FML
Today, I Brought Mah Lunch To Work In The Only Box I Had Lying Around Mah Apartment - A Small One From FedEx. When I Went To The Bathroom Before Lunch, I Returned To Mah Desk To Fine That One Of Mah Coworker Had Mailed Mah Lunch Back To Mah Apartment. FML
2day I made a bowl of spaghetti fir my grlfriend and me. I trid the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and grl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I trid it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I endd up throwing it up on her. FML
Today... my daughter had just left 4 a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden... she runs back in the house screaming ( I forgot to take my birth control! ) That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today...hile walking in the mall..!! I had two people race past me inheelchairs!! Thinking they were racing..!! I started rooting fir the one guy that was ahead!! Turns out hisheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help!! He then slammed and fell into the water fountain!! FML
Today, I was at te extremely crowded gym wen someone came up biend me an souted in ma ear scaring te living sit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was biend me. It was a new song starting on ma eadpones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
Today, ma boyfriend an I were "fooling around." It started to get ot an e took out is penis for te frst time!! Tis was te frst one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it!! I ad no ideaat to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
Today , I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later , tey called back an I told er tat se ad te wrong number. Se said se just it redial an didn't understand ow se got me again. I tried to explain ow redial works. Se called me a moron an ung up. Ten my pone rang again. FML
Friday 27 March 2015