About TM24D : I literally hate everyone on FML.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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TM24D's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, five minutes before closing, a woman came in to buy over $300 worth of clothing from the sales rack. My manager and I had to ring it all up, de-sensor it, fold it, bag it, etc. After it was all rung up, her credit card was declined. FML
by IntoTheClouds / 05/22/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Vermont) / Work
Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML
by stillaproudfather / 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML
by HouseWife / 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by My__life___ / 05/20/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
by fuckingdieyouoldhag / 05/20/2014 at 4:08pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML
by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, my landlord's control issue got out of control when I got a call telling me I have "too much stuff" and have to move out of the apartment. I sold all my furniture when I moved in and all I currently own is a scratch post, a chair and a pair of curtains. FML
by that makes me a sad panda / 05/19/2014 at 5:44pm / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Money
by Anonymous / 05/19/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
by thepixies842 / 05/19/2014 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML
by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids
by motherfuck666 / 05/18/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come… Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey…