About TM24D : I literally hate everyone on FML.
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TM24D's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
by kay-z / 06/21/2014 at 4:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Health
by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by FMeeee / 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm / Portugal (Aveiro) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML
by Godhelpme / 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
by caleighrossi / 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm / United States (California) / Kids
by ToddlersWife / 06/15/2014 at 7:10am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML
by ItsJustMe1616 / 06/15/2014 at 1:13am / United States / Money
by sunil / 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by rc2981 / 06/13/2014 at 6:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, I was coaching some kids in table tennis when I told them to try a forehand loop, or smash.… Today my boss fussed at me for something my co-worker did yesterday "because you were sitting right… Today, I had to drive my sister home. We drove the half hour south to get to my Dad's, only to get…