About TM24D : I literally hate everyone on FML.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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TM24D's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML
by HazingNight / 07/02/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by unwanted daughter / 07/02/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
by TheKingKen / 07/01/2014 at 8:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by NosChersVoisins / 07/01/2014 at 12:55am / France (Aquitaine) / Love
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
by BaWanda / 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML
by ~~~ / 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States / Kids
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 1:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML
by icandothecancan / 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
- Today, I forgot my headphones at home, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to be in the third… Today, I went out to get a coffee while there was a flash flood warning. On my way home I noticed… Today, early in the morning, I went to the store for a few things. The doors wide open, I gather my…