About TM24D : I literally hate everyone on FML.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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TM24D's favorite FMLs
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
by Jeff / 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm / United States / Love
by thedoc / 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
by all puked out / 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML
by Workhorse / 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by whoops / 07/09/2014 at 1:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by HowAreYouAlive / 07/09/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML
by OhJoy_777 / 07/08/2014 at 4:05am / Love
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Rowansgonnarow / 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to… Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told… Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until…