T9FTW

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Offline (the 03/25/2014 at 5:13am)

T9FTW

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1974
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About T9FTW : I'm your typical jokester and a relatively friendly, fair guy. Here is (very little) information about my personality and habits.

I get quite ticked off when people are grammatically incorrect or just not in use of common sense... But I'm not a grammar Nazi, I swear it! Don't put me away!

Some people find this strange, so I'll just throw it in here: I don't watch television although I do have full access to it.

Also, I like to-- "Okay, wrap it up, guys!"
*rolls up the carpet, shuts out lights*

T9FTW's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 4:04am<b>stfuwtf</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 12:48am<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:55am<b>PotatomanIsReal</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 9:48am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 5:20am<b>TopiaryOwl</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:04am<b>G3ICO</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:55pm<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:19am<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:12pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:43am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Chiishinchu</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:14pm<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Darkness121</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:06pm<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:34pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:47am<b>Doge789</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 4:31pm

T9FTW's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of T9FTW's badges

T9FTW's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

by facepalm / 06/05/2012 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

by Bilze / 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

by mmmtortilla / 04/24/2012 at 10:03am / Spain (Pais Vasco) / Intimacy

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

by flowerchildd2 / 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

by Joplin / 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

by Allie / 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

by princess4242 / 02/26/2010 at 4:10am / India (Delhi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

by Sursion / 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was carrying several bags of groceries up the stairs to my 3rd story apartment when I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall towards me. I screamed and dropped my groceries, which went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor, destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. FML

by n_london / 10/12/2009 at 4:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous