T9FTW

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Offline (the 03/25/2014 at 5:13am)

T9FTW

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1628
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About T9FTW : I'm your typical jokester and a relatively friendly, fair guy. Here is (very little) information about my personality and habits.

I get quite ticked off when people are grammatically incorrect or just not in use of common sense... But I'm not a grammar Nazi, I swear it! Don't put me away!

Some people find this strange, so I'll just throw it in here: I don't watch television although I do have full access to it.

Also, I like to-- "Okay, wrap it up, guys!"
*rolls up the carpet, shuts out lights*

T9FTW's page activity

Visits<b>stfuwtf</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 12:48am<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:55am<b>PotatomanIsReal</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 9:48am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 5:20am<b>TopiaryOwl</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:04am<b>G3ICO</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:55pm<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:19am<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:31pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:12pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:43am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Chiishinchu</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:14pm<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Darkness121</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:06pm<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:34pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:47am<b>Doge789</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 4:31pm<b>DefineAlrep</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:18pm

T9FTW's FML badges

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Socialite

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of T9FTW's badges

T9FTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

by sickmom / 01/21/2014 at 6:07am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

by gimmeafknbreak / 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 2:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

by Cat Piss / 12/15/2013 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 6:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

by Jeanna S. / 11/23/2012 at 10:10am / United States / Animals

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

by butterball / 07/18/2012 at 10:41am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Work