Swift4Life

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Offline (the 01/23/2015 at 10:03pm)

Swift4Life

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1977
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Swift4Life : Im what you get when you mix OCD, stubbornness & the jack-*ss syndrome all together. I love Taylor Swift, Paramore and hockey. Since you now know that, you pretty much know everything about me. Yup, I'm that interesting.

Swift4Life's page activity

Visits<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:40pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 10:43pm<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 5:21am<b>artist264</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:32pm<b>October3461</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:11pm<b>doglover100</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:43am<b>Evie97</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 5:01pm<b>StephanoTheSloth</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 10:06am<b>jeffro1983</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:46pm<b>abit2lil</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:42am<b>Sawsaiuge</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 3:12am<b>lythalls</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:45am<b>badminton</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:45am<b>Dame84</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:51pm<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:34pm<b>dianaflowers</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Deresius</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:13pm

Swift4Life's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Swift4Life's badges

Swift4Life's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

by baffled / 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

by yoggabe / 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm / Mexico (Tabasco) / Kids

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

by Pissed / 10/05/2011 at 11:29am / Australia / Kids