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Swift4Life

Offline (the 01/23/2015 at 10:03pm) | Search for a member

Swift4Life

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1492
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Swift4Life : Im what you get when you mix OCD, stubbornness & the jack-*ss syndrome all together. I love Taylor Swift, Paramore and hockey. Since you now know that, you pretty much know everything about me. Yup, I'm that interesting.

Swift4Life's page activity

Visits<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:40pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 10:43pm<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 5:21am<b>artist264</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:32pm<b>October3461</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:11pm<b>doglover100</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:43am<b>Evie97</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 5:01pm<b>StephanoTheSloth</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 10:06am<b>jeffro1983</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:46pm<b>abit2lil</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:42am<b>Sawsaiuge</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 3:12am<b>lythalls</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:45am<b>badminton</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:45am<b>Dame84</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:51pm<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:34pm<b>dianaflowers</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Deresius</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:13pm

Swift4Life's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Swift4Life's badges

Swift4Life's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (7011)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51296) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17701) - you deserved it (29687)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28612) - you deserved it (5791)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (32672)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (3626)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32753) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (4054)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29970) - you deserved it (4543)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8588) - you deserved it (23553)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16763) - you deserved it (4843)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43539) - you deserved it (2322)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

#20120633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (3286)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28112) - you deserved it (9565)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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