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Surge5560

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Surge5560
  • Town/Country : None of your business , United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 854
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Surge5560's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30212) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35425) - you deserved it (3928)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39925) - you deserved it (8777)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39243) - you deserved it (6582)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34473) - you deserved it (8380)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32096) - you deserved it (3319)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (4172)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (7981)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37794) - you deserved it (4119)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

#20403366
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (836)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:37am - kids - by unknown - Canada

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25862) - you deserved it (3280)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29907) - you deserved it (5704)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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